Thursday, 25 August 2011

Honey - more news

Thanks to all those who posted messages about Honey. I spoke to her on Monday and she sounded quite well then. She said that she had had some really bad times and had felt that she had been very close to death but then she said, 'But then again, I'm still here.' And I could really hear her - the essence of her - in the way she said that. But then I went to see her in the hospice on Tuesday and I would have to say that the situation was really dire. She was incredibly distressed and upset. Her legal situation - and particularly the custody of her two oldest children - really isn't sorted out. The solicitor was there and we got a will signed which should help. But it is awful that she's still fighting with all that stuff when she should just be enjoying a bit of peace and quiet and love. Some people around her are saying, 'She needs to let go ... etc.' But realistically, if you have three small children, how can you let go? Last night I got a text saying that her condition has worsened and that the children are coming to see her again. I think that perhaps what everyone has hoped for is some moments of peace and acceptance at the end. But I myself have let go of that one. I think that she may go out raging and there are worse ways to go. She always lived with a great passion so perhaps it is right that she should die that way too. I know for sure that I've never seen courage like hers before and I don't expect to see it again. There is a lovely photograph of her which someone in the hospice took - she's there with her youngest daughter. Obviously very sick but some how radiant and full of love. I'm going to try and get that photograph and maybe post it up on line. It isn't actually reflective of how things have really been for the last two years. But I suppose it is a reminder that even in the very worst of times, there are still those moments of grace.


Tash said...

I love that you view it this way -- that it's ok if she goes out raging, being the passionate person that she is. And frankly, her children -- regardless of what happens -- may grow into appreciating that passion as well.

I'm not going to tell her to let it go, but I do hope she finds some small moments of grace in the waning hours with her children. I'd love to see that picture. You don't need to tell her, but if you could just think it I'd appreciate you thinking that she has support out in the internet from total strangers who are in incredible admiration of how she lived her life and how much she deeply cared for her kids.

Love to you too, Alice. This can't be easy on you.

Anonymous said...

thank you for the update. Thought are with Honey and the little ones.

Anonymous said...

I've been mulling this over since you first posted the latest news on Honey. As she has always lived life with passion, I can't see it ending peacefully for her - I would go out raging myself if I were leaving 3 small children. And who are the bystanders who would like it to be different: are they standing on the brink of the abyss? She and her family and friends continue to be in my thoughts.