Monday, 24 October 2011

Hallmark cards

There are so many profoud things I could say right now. But instead I'll say something silly which is ....... now that Hope is born people find it easy to know what to say. They can just say 'congratulations.' Just as they would when any other baby is born. When we told people in England about the pregnancy, they didn't really know quite what to say. In particular, they didn't seem to want to ask anything about our surrogate Mum. I suspect that they thought that she was some semi-literate woman who has been impregnated against her will and locked in a cellar ...... Obviously people in America are a bit better informed. I'm particularly touched that people reading this blog have mentioned her and sent their love. I want that thanks and recognition for her because she did something extra-ordinary. But I don't blame people in England for their confusion and reticence. As my husband rightly says, 'Of course, people don't know what to say. After all, there isn't a Hallmark card which says Congratulations On Your Surrogacy And Donor Egg Pregnancy, is there?' He's right. There's a gap in the market there. But I think we'll probably have to wait a while before Hallmark make that card.

Thursday, 20 October 2011


Here are pictures of Hope. Not particularly good pictures but I have had a computer problem and can't upload the better ones. She is doing fine - and we are doing fine. We have moved from Marshall now to Minneapolis where we have to get a birth certificated, US passport and UK passport. Our time in Marshall was wonderful. It's a really small-town place but amazingly friendly. We spent a lot of time there with our amazing surrogate Mum and her partner. We will see them again on Saturday as they are coming to Minneapolis for the day. It is so strange. Throughout this whole processs the Agency just kept saying to me, 'It'll work. You'll see. It'll work.' And I never really believed them - but they were right. I spent so much time worrying about our surrogate Mum and it wasn't until I was leaving the hospital that I finally got it. I finally really understood it. The truth is that their are woman who are born to be surrogate Mums. That is their vocation, their destiny. They can carry a baby in love and hand it over to another woman and still feel love - but also let go without grief or difficulty. I think you have to see that happen in order to believe it. God bless our surrogate Mum and all the other surrogate Mums as well. They are extra-ordinary women.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Hope Kinsella

Our daughter, Hope Kinsella, was born at 17.17 on Sunday. She is alive and well. And we are all doing fine. The last two days have been an extra-ordinary experience. I'm too tired to write more now but we are so, so happy. And we have no words to express our thanks to our amazing surrogate Mum and her partner. We are so very, very blessed.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Marshall, Minnesota

We got here! The journey was 24 hours and when we arrived we were all exhausted and disorientated. But we all had some sleep and now we are doing fine. In one hour we go to meet our surrogate Mum who we have never met before. I usually consider myself reasonably good at coping with most social situations. But having lunch with the woman who is carrying my husband's child may be a stretch! We are in a foreign country in so many different ways. But everything is actually going fine. I think that our day at the hospital will start at 6 am tomorrow morning. I'm scared of the birth. Very scared. And I'm scared about what I will feel when I see Hope. Except actually I'm not because I know that women have a hundred different reactions to the arrival of the baby - not all of them positive. And although birth is a big moment actually it isn't the birth that matters. It is the next eighteen or more years. And in the long term I know we'll be fine. I have never held a baby or been anywhere near one since Laura died. And I have had doctors tell me that I have PSTD and all that stuff. But actually I don't really accept that. And I have my husband and son with me and an amazing friend called Lin. And if I can't cope then they will. And once we get through this we have the rest of our lives to look forward to. And I will have a daughter - something that I thought I could never have.