Wednesday, 21 April 2010


I'm making myself type this post when I don't really want to. The truth is that we're looking at surrogacy. No, the whole truth. We're quite far down the line with the whole surrogacy business. We are looking at the US rather than the UK because in the UK surrogacy is virtually unknown. I don't know why I find it so hard to admit to this. I think it's because people I know will think that it is really weird / extreme / desperate / sad. Also I'm really frightened, really frightened of someone saying something horrible about it, or chucking a bucket of cold water on the whole thing. I vaguely tried it out on two friends. One said something derogatory about 'the kind of woman who would do something like that.' (In other words be a surrogate mother). This woman, of course, has three live and healthy children. The other friend said something chilly about the difficult psychological effects for the child. And actually I hadn't even said 'surrogacy' only 'donor egg.' I find these kind of comments amazing. Given what my husband and I have been through, I just thought people would cheer from the sidelines, no matter what they really think. On the upside, my Mum thinks it is a great idea. Also one dear friend here is whole heartedly supportive. Needless to say, she is a bereaved Mum. At the end of the day, I'm not really going to be influenced by what anyone says. But I could do without yet another thoroughly isolating experience.