Sunday 14 December 2008

On becoming an urban myth

We've all heard those stories about women who tried for a baby for ten years, who tried IVF but failed, who were in the process of adopting .... and then found themselves pregnant. To be honest, I was always a little doubtful about those stories. But now it's happened to me. I'm 42. I've lost the last four babies (if you include the stillbirth). IVF failed. I had given away everything in my house that had anything to do with babies ..... And now I'm pregnant. I don't know what to say. The Big Man in the sky does like a joke, doesn't he? And I'm not sure his jokes are always in very good taste. But of course, I'm glad. Even if I have another miscarriage, I'm glad. I know that the odds are badly stacked against us but at least something has happened .... At least I've got another chance. Now that I've got over the shock, I'm doing OK. Just getting through each day. Trying not to think about it all too much. I'm a Quaker and Quakers don't pray. Or at least they think there is only one prayer which is worth anything and that is - 'God grant me the equanimity to bear the outcome well - whatever it may be.' Quakers also say - 'I pray not to change God's will but to align my will with his.' Actually, I stopped believing in God a while back (during the IVF, to be specific) but still that's the approach I need right now.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I can't even imagine what thoughts must be tumbling through you.

Congratulations! I will be walking alongside you.

Tash said...

Eeeep!

I love the title. I love the whole post, actually. You will keep us updated, won't you?

c. said...

That is wonderful news, Alice. Wonderful. Wishing you only good and just and happy things.

janis said...

Holding good thoughts for you...

Z said...

Very best wishes and hopes for you.

Daphne said...

Hurrah for this particular urban myth and I wish you all the very, very best.

Honey said...

I'm lighting candles for you and yours. I'm so very happy for you, Huge Hugs.
xxx

Karin said...

Wow! Fantastic! What a Christmas pressie!

Melissia said...

Oh Alice, what lovely news. I too will keep you in my thoughts as the days go by. I am not sure if you read the blog "So Close" but she also if now pregnant (15 weeks) after similar circumstances.
She just turned 40 and was convinced her childbearing days were behind her as well.
Take care,
Melissia

Lissy said...

Congratulations. Hopeful & peaceful thoughts being sent your way...
wow

Alice said...

Thanks so much for all the kind messages. Alice